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It said: "Your face is like an imperfectly shaven tennis ball." I thought: "How true." And it was a computer that served me up this forehand volley of wisdom. The Surrealist Compliment Generator to be precise. Go there now and generate your own compliment, because "You cannot compare with the apex of a ferris wheel, nor the nadir of a ditch filled with a coelocanth's droppings." And you know it's true.