The Ballad Of Teddy Goodman
I am for all practical purposes too pooped to poke through this preponderancy of paint pots and assorted personal particulate under this poplar, Slim said out loud to himself while the Cardinal above him offered a wheat, wheat, wheat of affirmation. Better you than me, the Cardinal said, to which Slim responded, go away Red. Red said, better Red than dead, better Red than Fred, better Red than you. I think I will call you Fred, Red, Slim said.
Maybe I sucked too hard on that Green Label last night, Slim mused, or maybe it was that half pound of hamburger for breakfast, I just don't know. I only eat bugs and berries and buds, and on Sundays, worms, lot's of fat juicy worms, said Red. Fascinating, Fred, Slim said. I think since we are becoming friends I will call you Ted, said Fred. I am not really in the market for a red friend, Ted said to Red Fred. Isn't that a pity, Ted. If we were friends I would gladly pick off you that tick which crawled from a stick and is on its way to your...
Red Fred, Ted said, I will pick off my own ticks but thank you for that kind offer. Ted, Ted, Teddy, how great to have a friend named Ted, said Red Fred to Slim Ted. Oh my friend Teddy, don't look so glum under the sweet gum. You might find a piece of treasure buried beneath this boneyard of iron and tin. Do you really think so Red Fred? Well actually T-T-T-Teddy, I think no such thing, the man before he had no bling to bring, only trash, trash, trash, he was a trash hauling man, he would bring trash in the morning and trash in the evenings, that trash hauling man loved his trash more than anything.
You are quite a singer, Ted said. Thank you Ted, said Red Fred, actually I am shopping around for a producer. I will admit, and forgive me for saying this, but when I first saw you out here I thought, well you know, with the long hair and all, well, I thought you might be a producer, like in the business. Do you remember those first few days how I sang from sunup to sundown? I guess I was trying to impress you, but I got the distinct impression I was annoying you, so I went away for awhile to Pig Hollow, to visit a sick aunt. Tell me the truth, did you miss me while I was gone? No? Not really? Well no matter. The day I got back I heard you singing and that was when I realized you probably weren't in the business, but Ted, I hope my candor will not impede on our budding friendship.
I'm sure the status of our friendship will remain fairly constant, Fred.
That is music to my ears good man Teddy. In fact I think I will start this minute working on a new ballad. I will call it The Ballad of Teddy Goodman. I hope you don't mind that all my title characters die in the end, I think it adds a gravity that so much music today is lacking.
That would be great, Red Fred, to be the inspiration for your song. As for the dying, I guess I'm ok with it.
I think we're going places, Teddy. But oh my I fear I have worn you out with the vibrance of my personality. A power nap, that's what you need my friend. Go in there and lie down and in one hour I will sing you awake.
Just one hour Red Fred, said Ted, before going back to bed.
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I am for all practical purposes too pooped to poke through this preponderancy of paint pots and assorted personal particulate under this poplar, Slim said out loud to himself while the Cardinal above him offered a wheat, wheat, wheat of affirmation. Better you than me, the Cardinal said, to which Slim responded, go away Red. Red said, better Red than dead, better Red than Fred, better Red than you. I think I will call you Fred, Red, Slim said.
Maybe I sucked too hard on that Green Label last night, Slim mused, or maybe it was that half pound of hamburger for breakfast, I just don't know. I only eat bugs and berries and buds, and on Sundays, worms, lot's of fat juicy worms, said Red. Fascinating, Fred, Slim said. I think since we are becoming friends I will call you Ted, said Fred. I am not really in the market for a red friend, Ted said to Red Fred. Isn't that a pity, Ted. If we were friends I would gladly pick off you that tick which crawled from a stick and is on its way to your...
Red Fred, Ted said, I will pick off my own ticks but thank you for that kind offer. Ted, Ted, Teddy, how great to have a friend named Ted, said Red Fred to Slim Ted. Oh my friend Teddy, don't look so glum under the sweet gum. You might find a piece of treasure buried beneath this boneyard of iron and tin. Do you really think so Red Fred? Well actually T-T-T-Teddy, I think no such thing, the man before he had no bling to bring, only trash, trash, trash, he was a trash hauling man, he would bring trash in the morning and trash in the evenings, that trash hauling man loved his trash more than anything.
You are quite a singer, Ted said. Thank you Ted, said Red Fred, actually I am shopping around for a producer. I will admit, and forgive me for saying this, but when I first saw you out here I thought, well you know, with the long hair and all, well, I thought you might be a producer, like in the business. Do you remember those first few days how I sang from sunup to sundown? I guess I was trying to impress you, but I got the distinct impression I was annoying you, so I went away for awhile to Pig Hollow, to visit a sick aunt. Tell me the truth, did you miss me while I was gone? No? Not really? Well no matter. The day I got back I heard you singing and that was when I realized you probably weren't in the business, but Ted, I hope my candor will not impede on our budding friendship.
I'm sure the status of our friendship will remain fairly constant, Fred.
That is music to my ears good man Teddy. In fact I think I will start this minute working on a new ballad. I will call it The Ballad of Teddy Goodman. I hope you don't mind that all my title characters die in the end, I think it adds a gravity that so much music today is lacking.
That would be great, Red Fred, to be the inspiration for your song. As for the dying, I guess I'm ok with it.
I think we're going places, Teddy. But oh my I fear I have worn you out with the vibrance of my personality. A power nap, that's what you need my friend. Go in there and lie down and in one hour I will sing you awake.
Just one hour Red Fred, said Ted, before going back to bed.
- jimlouis 7-02-2008 12:17 pm