...more recent posts
Monday, Jan 08, 2001
January 8, 2001
Late Summer in Boston
Even as a wee lad, I thought Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken” was a bit smug. The idea that life’s choices are as distinct as a fork in the road seems overly simplistic. Too often, we are like oblivious drivers whizzing past life’s options. Further, the certitude implied in the final line seems a bit cocksure. We may have certainty about some decisions, but the random events of life all too frequently overturn good intentions.
Having said that, Richard and Jennifer represent the road-not-taken in my early adulthood. In my twenties, I was totally unready for the responsibilities of marriage, and even more unready for the responsibilities of procreation. Richard and Jennifer were happily married, and had moved to California from the mid-west for Richard’s first engineering job after graduation. I had left Austin after graduation and also came to the high-tech promised land. We met while Richard and I were under the employ of a gentle pacifist who ran an R&D department in a major military-industrial company.
Kirby liked to hire college kids. I think he favored their energy, creativity, and ability to use new technology. The “new kids” working for Kirby and a few of his peers didn’t fit the old line management style of the retired military men in middle management. Kirby was amazingly effective at shielding the irreverent, cartoon-drawing, and sometimes sarcastic college kids in his department from the ire of the ex-military types who favored submission over effectiveness. But fundamentally, it was a losing proposition. For several of us, including Richard and I, the pursuit of more sophisticated war toys could never be a way of life.
Richard and Jennifer left Gimongous Corp. (Military Division) for a telecom job in Boston, and I left Gimongous for the commercial sector in Silicon Valley. With my typical cheeky cynicism, I crafted a flyer for my going away lunch. It was boldly headlined, “Mark is going commercial!!!”. This MacDraw masterpiece included a decorative border of cartoon military vehicles to represent the old and another border of cartoon poplar trees to represent my new job outside of the military-industrial complex.
We’ve maintained sporadic contact. Richard and Jennifer have most of their family east of the Mississippi, and don’t get out to the west much. I’ve been too much of a workaholic to get to Boston much. However, my cross-country trip seemed like an excellent opportunity to renew.
Their little boy has some learning difficulties. The struggle to find a suitable situation for this marvelous child has been a central issue in their lives. Richard and Jennifer have been very diligent, and very vocal to improve the lot of their child and others like him.
Richard maintains an extensive informational web site, has written editorials, has done editorials on television, has testified to the state government, and more. In a quick search, I easily found a dozen references on the web, including his own site.
http://members.tripod.com/RSaffran/
This battle for the quality of their child’s life has pitted them against some deep and intractable ignorance in the educational system. It’s not only churches that idolize their own dogma.
During the morning rush to get prepared, their boy seemed like a typical shy boy early in his elementary school career. The school year had just started by the time I arrived, so everone was getting used to the new routine. After a full day at school, and an intensive session of tutoring after school, he seemed a bit tired. I hung around town most evenings so he wouldn't have to make the extra effort of socializing with a stranger at the dinner table at the end of a tiring day.
They are also blessed with a little girl. She was a new kindergartener during my visit, and had half days at school during the afternoon. Since I’m normally rather slow to get rolling in the morning, I sometimes watched TV in the morning with Jennifer and the little girl while I ate my breakfast. It turns out we are all Tellytubby fans. “Eh-oh!”
As I saw the joys and struggles they had with each child, I was amazed by the depth of their love, dedication and patience. I was sooooo right when I thought I was unready for children during my twenties. I was barely fit to raise myself during those years.