Hey Suss Dude,

I caught your show last night, and gotta say booyah! You really gave it to those Plan B feminazis. Your analysis was spot on ... "Any pill that stops you from being pregnant has got to be doing some crazy stuff to your insides!" You're a man of science, so that ought to carry some weight with the pointy headed libro-fascists. As a meteorologist (totally rhymes with endocrinologist), you have the bodacious cred on this one, dude!

You're right to ask what respectable woman would want this Plan B pill. Some libro-fascists might argue that it's of use to rape victims. But any woman that doesn't have a locked chastity belt is just asking for trouble. Am I right? Walking around without locking up the special place is like leaving an unlocked Lamborghini lying around. Trouble with a capital T.

But I have one niggle -- you missed an important angle. In addition to being a theo-con, like you, I'm a hard core Catholic (like my man Mel Gibson), so I'm concerned about the feminazi war against our little swimmer dudes. Plan B the moral equivalent of spermicide. Spermatozoa-Americans are alive, and killing human life in any form is wrong. Killing 10 million sperm (or equivalently, interfering with their divine duty to nail an egg) is a holocaust, or as I like to call it, a spermocaust.

There's an awesome song about this, called Every Sperm is Sacred. I think you should play it on your next radio show. That will send the feminazis and libro-fascists into convulsions!