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R.M. Vaughan's* Top Ten List:

1. The Conrad Black Trial
Without a doubt, Lord Black of Crossharbour missed his calling. His endurance-performance of lofty moral rectitude was way, way better than Daniel Craig's chin acting in Casino Royale. Same hair, though.


2. Love/Hate: New Crowned Glory in the GTA (or whatever that show was called) at MOCCA.
Crab and cluck all you want. I was in that show but you, dear reader, probably were not.
Score for me - 1. Score for you - 0.

3.Canadian Art Toronto Issue
See above, add one score in my column.

4. Ben Affleck's Gone, Baby, Gone
A really good crime flick made even better when one considers the fact that all those loving pans of darling, baby doll Casey Affleck were shot by his big, sexy, hairy older brother. My brother's never put me in a fucking movie, has yours?

5. The red "Oriental" lanterns on Spadina.
Chinoiserie is back! Next, I want the City of Toronto to issue pink parasols to all people of Asian and female persuasion, while all the men get those adorable beany caps with the tassels on top. And I want opium dens in every basement on Dundas between Bathurst and University. I have a LED ornament in mind for the Gay Village, but I'm not sure said bauble wouldn't get confused with a raspberry donut.

6. Nuit Blanche
Because I wisely went to visit my 81 year old mother in New Brunswick instead, and spent the night watching CMT (a Toby Keith special, too!).
Score for me - 3.

7. The Closing of SPIN Gallery
Now, don't get me wrong. It's a heart-sucking tragedy that "Stew & Ju" have gone out of biz after so many years of hard work. The reason the closure is in my Top Ten is because if anybody had any lingering doubts about the future of Queen West West, they will now have to come to terms with cruel reality - apart from a few holdouts, the "gallery strip" is finished. This is sad, of course, but knowing is better than worrying. Goddamn you to a sweltering Hell, or to an American Apparel outlet, Richard Florida.

8. Circa Nightclub
How Toronto that our city's most glamorous celebrity spinout will be enacted by a piece of overvalued real estate.

9. Kent Monkman's performance at the ROM
I like Kent. He is a very talented painter. He is also a very talented installation artist, and a very talented emerging filmmaker and a nice guy, and very handsome, and very smart ... but, but, but ... as a performer, he's no Conrad Black. I find this comforting, because otherwise that bitch has it all.

10. That fucking carbuncle growing out of the ROM
I don't care if Dubai has a Daniel Libeskind, or Singapore has one or Las Vegas has one: archistar-fucking is not civic planning. "Crystal" my ass. With all that ass-up aluminum siding, it looks like a trailer park ravaged by a twister. I will never "get used to it". I will not "learn to love it". It will never be endearing nor ironic nor reclaimable. It even made Kent Monkman, a man who has agents just aching to turn him into an underwear model if his artist gig doesn't work out, look bad. I want my money back, and yours too.

Fucking Carbunkle by Daniel Libeskind

* Worst Art Critic in Canada™
- L.M. 12-30-2007 10:42 am [link] [2 refs] [3 comments]