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No Juventudes ! 4/11
Cummon' down off your high horse n' climb aboard the Pro-wresteling fun machine. This strain of sport-tainment is at the peak of it's game. I am wendel and wendel is an occasional contributor for this interactive Pro Wresteling newsletter called No Juventudes which closely follows the various storylines of the three majors : WWF, WCW and ECW.We are (I am) very fond of the gender crunching aspects of Pro-Wresteling / Positive (any) response will result in additional postings.
No Juventudes ! 4/8
WWF Attitude has taken a bizarre, unsettling turn with the latest twist (And
I do mean "twist") in the ongoing saga of the McMahon's, "America's Most
Dysfunctional Family." Stephanie McMahon, who just one week ago was so bitter
her greatest wish was to slap her own father on national television, has
taken to kissing her blushing daddy square on the lips.
Don't even try to suggest it's all in innocent fun, either. The WWF knows
their audience better than anyone, and is fully aware of what's going through
their collective mind during these strange skits. It's not like the WWF is
above pushing incest as a comedic subject either. Mark Henry was shown
sleeping with his own sister. Of course he is an African-American, and a
dark-skinned one at that, so the lily-white management didn't push the issue
as a big deal.
The whole point of Stephanie McMahon's heel marriage to Hunter Hearst
Helmsley is that her latent sexual fire was awakened when Triple H drugged
and raped her. She had plenty of virile sexual power just waiting to be
tapped because she is, after all, a McMahon. Perhaps more unsettling is her
love/hate obsession with her Daddy Dearest, the God of Wrestling.
If nothing else, the McMahon Family once again proves they have balls the
size of grapefruits, since there is a segment of their audience who is going
to believe there's more to it than an effort to entertain the fans. This
could make the steroid stigma look tame.
The Incest Card does open up some creative storylines for the summer TV that
keep the spotlight on the McMahons, and would outshine any issues the Rock or
Stone Cold might have. Triple H goes face when he discovers that his wife
betrayed him. Linda gets revenge on Vince by "siding" with Shane. It turns
out it's Shane, not Vince, who's "close" to Steph. the possibilities are
endless.
NO JUVENTUDES REPORT 4/11
OTIS BRAWL-REPORTMEISTER
WWF'n News
DINNER WITH FOLEY BRINGS IN BIG $$$ AT AUCTION
The New York Daily News had an interesting wrestling related note today,
concerning a fund raising auction held for the Westmark School in Encino,
California. One of the items up for bid was dinner with Mick Foley, and two
couples wanted the prize so badly, they are each paying $31,000 for the right
to sit down for a meal with Mick. Unfortunately, one of the couples
is Triple H and Stephanie, who are expected to eat with their mouths open and
generally display bad manners.
By comparison, clothing autographed by GG Allin went for $2,500, and a limo
ride with Carrot Top to his next movie premiere earned $3,000.
THQ and WWF are working together to publish a WWF online game as part of
THQ's strategy to develop content specifically for the internet.
Brawl Says-Hey! Alright! Who's in? Email me back! Woo! Hubba!
Questions, we get questions!
Bluntie was wondering, "A while back I was at an indie show. If my memory
serves me right I think it was a production by AWA. One of the wrestlers was
Doink the Clown and I was just wondering if this could be the same one that
was in the WWF. Thanks."
Brawl says-Yes, that was probably the same Doink that was in the WWF. Not the
Doink that was a heel, though. The Doink that was with Dink. This Doink is
the other Doink and the Dink Doink is a drunk.
Lizzard is a bottomless pit of questions. I think she's hooked. Here is her
latest missive. "You have a great Q&A. I was wondering if Edge and Christian
are supposed to be heels right now. The fans don't seem to give them any heat
so I cant really tell. Also, when the Undertaker comes back, what role do you
think he will play. Will he be a face or a heel? Will he be main eventing or
not? I really like the Undertaker so I want to know. I am going to my first
WWF show in MSG on april 15 and I was wondering if my seats in section 4, Row
C, and Gate 61 are any good. If you know that would be great."
The Kid has been staring at fan's signs. "You Know how RVD calls himself 4:20
what does 4:20 mean?"
Brawl says-4:20 has something to do with the time of smoking weed or
something. I'm not a weed head, so I can't say for sure.
MickF has a terrific memory! "O, if the WWF decided to pick up the Austin
getting hit by the car angle, which they should and maybe will, who do you
think will be revealed as the driver? I think it was the Rock because they
made it look like HHH did it and thats too obvious.So it can be HHH, Rock,
Vince, Shane, Big Show. Who do you think?"
Brawl says-The Rock would be the perfect person to have been behind the wheel
of the car. If you remember correctly, it was The Rock's car that hit Stone
Cold Steve Austin. They could do an angle where The Rock claimed that his car
was reported stolen, but he lied. Or they could do a gay tag team angle.
Either or.
troubleman is still sending stuff in, despite the fact that he doesn't
subscribe and died in 1993. "Hey, great stuff in the Q+A. My question is why
do T&A keep losing? They really have talent in that team!"
Brawl says-Who wants to field this one?
Awesome Stuff
Paul Heyman's legal team forced Mike Awesome to be pulled from last night's
Nitro. However, WCW and ECW officials came to a settlement during the Nitro
broadcast which allowed Awesome's appearance on Nitro. The settlement will
also allow Awesome to honor the WCW contract he had already signed despite
being under an ECW deal.
In exchange, ECW received what sources described as a six–figure monetary
settlement, plus a guarantee that Awesome will appear at Thursday night's ECW
show (in Indianapolis, Indiana) to drop the ECW Title and in the shower to
drop the ECW soap.
His appearance on Nitro was something of a letdown. After dropping the ECW
Belt in the trash, he lit it on fire. Goldberg came out and doused the fire
with 'Little Goldberg' (his words).
Awesome then ripped Goldberg's head from his body and shit down his throat.
Goldberg was left all choked up.
Just like Bogey & Bacall
Wendell loves to send postcards:
Wow, I think Luna may pop the question ! We are already talking about a
world tour honeymoon ! All the hot spots.....San Francisco,
Provincetown, Chelsea ! Catch us if you can ! I feel giddy...
...he he he - W and L
I can't get over how big the Moon is down here......and the salt air
goes great with the margareta's and cellery. Pich me. I haven't thought
about wresteling in 10 or 15 minutes.
I think as long as we keep one step ahead of Luna's parole officer and
the Latino Heat loan shark back in J.C.(who doesn't think wet willies are
funny) we have a brite future. I can smell lizards a mile away and in my
sleep. I caugh up little balls of lizard bones when I'm done.
Luna hawked his Gold tooth, so we've really been living high on the hog.
Howard Johnston, was a genius. Did you know he has his own cola and it's
called HOJO. Thats so cute !
W and L>>
Satisfied Subscribers
GumParker writes in, "Hey... I am the REAL GUM PARKER...
the "johnny come lately" imitator you speak of has the name; "GUMPARKER1"
[He's the Chemical Brothers sound-a-like in the NYC area.] I'm a Hillbilly!
Please adjust your set, redo your address book or face a 300 pound bodyslam
...heh... heh... All hail the Oti"
Brawl says-Hey pantsuit! Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss says you are an ass
lick.
pantsuit Oh yeah? Who's this sperm gargler anyway? A felch belcher?
I never licked an ass in my life that I didn't chew, swallow, digest, and
shit out my own colon. Buddy.
In a message dated 4/7/00 10:11:53 AM, pantsuit@badattitude.com writes:
I'm dim on titles.
Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss says you are just dim. And a taco muncher
deviant.
pantsuit Brawl, Brawl, you're such a pantywaist. We always used to say that
about you behind your back. "That Brawl," we'd say. "What a pantywaist."
Always stirring up trouble. You're an instigator, that's what you are. A
pantywaisted instigator. Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss is the salt of the
earth. A real mensch. I won't be baited.
In a message dated 4/7/00 12:03:55 PM, pantsuit writes:
Brawl, you're such a pantywaist.
Looking for some online trouble?
Brawl says-I AM online trouble. Pantywaist.
In a message dated 4/7/00 1:30:41 PM, pantsuit writes:
A Pantsuit takes a Pantywaist every time.
Here's the thing. You taunt me for being an ass lick, and then you
ask me to lick your ass.
I guess that makes sense.
Although that is an underhanded and weaselly way to get me.
Bah. I'll die before I submit completely, though. You can have my tongue,
but you can't have my soul.
Brawl says-Where would I put it? Your soul, that is.
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Juice Newton