By RICHARD JOHNSON with PAULA FROELICH and CHRIS WILSON
July 16, 2001 -- Hilary caught in pie crossfire
OSCAR-winning actress Hilary Swank was hit with a banana cream pie [WRONG] by a man protesting anti-police paintings at a glitzy art opening. [HOAX]
The "Boys Don't Cry" beauty was caught in the crossfire when the pastry-throwing protester hurled a creamy projectile at John Raymond, the curator of Gen Arts Summer Arts Festival, which threw a VIP cocktail party to preview its controversial [NOT] new exhibition at the Puck Building last Thursday night.
While a startled Swank and her husband, Chad Lowe, ended up with pie mostly on their shoes [WRONG], Raymond's face was covered with the sugary slop. The tosser bolted out of the building before anyone could stop him.
"We are excited to see that it's not just Mayor Giuliani who is so passionate about art in New York City," quipped Gen Art spokesman Robert Shuter. [LAME]
But the small crowd of [FAKE] protesters outside the Puck Building were not in a joking mood about the offending "Police Love" series of paintings and sketches by underground artist Zelig Kurland. [PSEUDONYM]
Kurland's paintings show cops having sex with each other, brutally beating minorities, and shooting blood out of their hands. [MISLEADING] All 15 of his works were expected to be snapped up at about $300 each before the exhibit closed. [SPECULATION]
"The paintings are going to sell out," Shuter predicted on Friday. [SPECULATION] "Every time Gen Art has an exhibit, 85 percent of the work is sold, [SPECULATION] and of the 10 [FAKE] artists, this is the most controversial. We won't have a problem selling these paintings." [SPECULATION]
It appears that Kurland [SPECULATION] may have helped drum up publicity for his works by circulating phony protest fliers around the city. One flier, [OBVIOUS HOAX] headlined "Pigs Are People Too!," shows a smiling pig wearing a police hat underneath a tongue-in-cheek plea to boycott the Gen Art exhibit.
The flier sarcastically claims that cop-bashing slur "Pig" is an acronym for "Pride, Integrity, Guts." [OLD LINE FROM THE '60S]
"Every day police officers put their lives on the line - they are the 'thin blue line' between civilization and anarchy!" the flier says. "Yet law enforcement personnel throughout the United States are harassed trying to 'protect and serve' the citizens of our nation and are spit on by the people they're protecting!"
We can't help wonder: will Kurland turn his back on help from the NYPD, should he be unfortunate enough to be the victim of a crime? [STRETCH]