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Saturday, Nov 24, 2001

rudy tuesday

"I'm Sir Rudy now, thank you. Chirac says I'm Mayor Rock. The Post says either Bin Laden or I will be Time's Man of the Year. I open Saturday Night Live surrounded by statues Bernie Kerick and Von Essen, together with 20 or so of the good ol' boys in uniform. I bond in the public mind with the FDNY by wearing a department shirt and hat at some appearances. I go from a UN speech denouncing murderers to a press conference hugging Kissinger. I make my own foreign policy by kicking a Saudi gift horse in the mouth. I make my own tax policy with my fund for firemen and police and the IRS caves. Unlike anywhere else in America where anthrax appears, I control the press briefings when it pops up here. Ever see any postal workers—or that high-pitched postal union clown—at one of my conferences?"