plumbum
so my shower is backed up and everytime my upstairs neighbors shower or use the bathroom sink my tub fills up with grayish suds. ive been bailing since tuesday night while waiting for my landlord to resurface. he would pick this week to sneak away. and, of course, since hes older than methuselah, it wouldnt occur to him to check his answering machine messages remotely, as if he knew you could, or bother to get a cell phone. no chance somethings going to break down. these buildings are rock solid. hold on, ive got to turn the air conditioner off so i can boil some water for coffee.

so since i have plans to vacate away the premises next week i figured i should perform my due diligence and call a plumber so as not to flood out the lower east side in my absence. and im sure i called the most expensive service, the one with the memorable jingle, but i punted when it was time to pay the piper, so to speak. even after offering a 10% discount once my anguish was palpable, i couldnt be responsible for a $450 rooting of a simple drain. admittedly the pipework is less than straightforward but i doubted that more than an hour would be required for the process to run its course.

so while the repairman waited for my jaw to be reset after scraping along the floor i called my neighbor whose water ive been keel hauling all week. and as he is a congenial sort, and nor poundfoolish than i or my pennywise landlord, he agreed to bail in my absence so that the landlord could summon his own snake wrangler on his own dime and i could avoid trying to explain to him that my actions were in his best interest or that he had shirked his duties and therefore reaped what he did sow. still, ill have to surrender my key while im away and place my trust in others which i was trying to avoid. at other times this would have taken precedence but i think i can handle that at the moment more than my landlords rheumy reproach. close call though.

did i happen to mention that i was skipping out on the second bachelor party (the weekend in panama wasnt enough?) for my congenial neighbor on this very day? that didnt make it more awkward, did it? strip steaks and strippers just arent my thing though. that the night out would cost about as much as the plumber was hardly non-trivial but i think i would have done my best to avoid it at all costs.

now ive got to get back to my bootleg copy of leatherheads (dont bother). george clooney is just about to get the girl, but i think he can do better than renee zellweger if you ask me. he can do better than this entire movie, in fact.


- dave 7-18-2008 7:37 pm

Perhaps your neighbor could make do with sponge baths?
- mark 7-19-2008 2:21 pm


the landlord finally got back to me today. turns out he was sick with an unspecified ailment. when i asked him what was wrong, he told me he was sick. thinking he might not want me to know, i probed no further. he brought with him his smelly sidekick toting a couple of plastic supermarket bags worth of tools among them the snake we all hoped would clear the blockage. but after two hours and fourteen feet of diddling within the pipes nothing was accomplished. well not nothing. a hairball was extracted and my bathroom sink is temporarily out of order, one positive and one negative just about negating each other. tomorrow they return with a larger snake. no telling if this will solve the problem. i plan on leaving them to it, however. their laurel and hardy act doesnt age well on the second viewing. by weeks end theyll have called a proper plumber and ill just have to pray the fates havent completely abandoned me as i have them.
- dave 7-21-2008 2:11 am


was it your hairball?
- steve 7-23-2008 2:42 am


reminded me of a line from Spinal Tap
- mark 7-23-2008 3:06 pm





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