so... drink.


- dave 8-29-2015 8:30 pm

so ive been bitching out the postal service every chance i get now to amazon. they used to pretend that they were delivering stuff but would just leave a pick up slip in my box and i would go get it from the post office which ive made harder on myself by not having any id but a cancelled passport and whatever else i can scrape together like a con ed bill or my birth certificate. ive never had any problem but im always anxious and i have been reprimanded on at least one occasion. 

but now usps is in the habit of pretending they are delivering my packages but dont even bother to notify me. i only find out via tracking the package online. i realized i can "reschedule" a delivery on their website and that has worked but that annoyed me as the promise of amazon prime was two day delivery, not i wonder if its coming today, oh hey, maybe its coming tomorrow. also, by lying to me they are also lying to amazon. and while amazon probably doesnt like there customers being lied to as they bear the brunt of the enmity, i would think they like their partners lying to them even less. or maybe they dont give a shit at all and are anxiously awaiting the day their fleet of drones takes over the universe.

anyway, this time the usps flat out lost my package while still maintaining they were trying to deliver it. amazon said they would make good by overnighting my order and 3/4 of my order (probably what they have in their warehouses) was sent via fed ex yesterday. unfortunately it did not arrive before i left for the day but i was confident they would be out either today or monday and the note said monday so i believed it. but one item was through a third pary purveyor and they did not get the message or didnt care and i got two day service via the post office. and guess what, they pretended to deliver it today. i was around at the time they said they made an attempt, and no notice was left in my box or otherwise to prove it was anything but at outright falsehood.

and, you know, i turns out i have nothing better to do than complain. i could have waited to see if they honor their redelivery on monday as i set up on their website but i wanted to let amazon know that the usps was bullshit and some of that stink rubbed off on them. also, i wanted to see how they would respond. did i expect a rebate of some sort? no. did i get one? not really. what i did get was the opportunity to return some headphones four months after the return date had expired as i appended on another snafu that had aggrieved me and for which i had received no relief.

but i digress. so contrary to my normal behavior i have been exceedingly genial. i few months back i sent an explitive laden missive only to regret it later. i realized that approach would only get me so far, that being nowhere. so this time my tone is understanding and patient and it has mostly borne fruit. but i was having great difficulty holding back on their most recent reply because they told me they were refunding my order, not the usps portion, the part that was being sent via fed ex. and they assured me that the shipping department would be notified about the indignities i suffered at the hands of fed ex except no such indignities were suffered. 

so now im waiting to find out if that stop order can be stop ordered because some moron cant read. i went back and reread it as its more than possible that there was one parenthetical statement too many. but no, its more than clear that i am calling out the usps as liars on numerous occasions over the course of three or four emails. 

but i fell on my sharp tongue and prostrated myself before the shopping gods hoping they would see fit to get me my damn useless garbage before the end of time. for it is nigh, people. just pray the postal service is responsible for its delivery and need to worry for a long, long time.

/delivered unproofread as i need a drink.


- dave 8-29-2015 8:30 pm [add a comment]


On the plus side we get to read this great writing. If you didn't have any problems you'd probably just go straight to the drink. Or worse.
- jim 8-29-2015 11:02 pm [add a comment]


USPS seems to understand letters very well. And postcards. Can't beat them on postcards.
- mark 8-30-2015 2:39 am [add a comment]


whats for drink?
- Skinny 8-30-2015 10:44 am [add a comment]


a certain blended whiskey of a lesser grade.
- dave 8-30-2015 10:53 am [add a comment]


latest update suggests that i may get the order and a refund. and as my casually racist mind wondered and now confirmed, yes, the amazon service center employees name had a decidedly south asian ring to it. did that have an impact on his reading comprehension abilities? who can say? its not like our educational system is producing a race of super-geniuses or that responding to irate customers for an eternity is anything less than soul deadening.
- dave 8-30-2015 11:05 am [add a comment]


finally arrived, the fed ex part. the usps and their one item are awol for a second time. i could head over and see if its sitting on a shelf but without a notification from my mail box ill be forced to go with a tracking number and then theres the problem with my id though in the past theyve been mighty lenient.

no one to blame but myself for that one. i biked over to pick up the fed ex package yesterday. the package got as far as the counter before lady mcstickler decided my lapsed passport was a no go as valid. could see there was no arguing with her. just hoped it would find its way back to the truck whence it came and out for a final go today before the dreaded return to sender and with it my plunder.

i plastered my door with instructions:

1) ring, ring, ring
2) call, call, call

and if all else fails leave it at the store across the street. i was not going to let that $65 of free garbage slip through my grasp without a fight.

the tracking showed "pending" this morning which to my mind meant "lost" but after i sent out an email i received a notice that it was out on the truck for delivery. at which point, no sound was permitted that might shroud the sirens call. no pod did cast. no college did rock. only my "thoughts", the fan and the crooked keystokes remained.

and like every movie ive seen of late the end was anti-climactic.


- dave 9-01-2015 3:22 pm [add a comment]





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