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the tide is high
Weasels at the Helm
From "Today's Papers" on Slate:
Rumsfeld said that the U.S. plans to "incentivize a large number of people to begin crawling through those tunnels and caves." The plan is being broadcast over Afghanistan and dropped in leaflets:
"Attention people of Afghanistan! Up to $25 million reward is being offered for information leading to the location or capture of Osama bin Laden or Aiman al-Zawahiri."
Catty Kitt
Quote of the day (from Page Six) has second-string Catwoman Eartha Kitt, who almost ruined her career in the 60s by publicly opposing the Vietnam War, opining:"This war against the terrorists in Afghanistan is nothing like Vietnam. I support this war unequivocally. We were attacked on our soil. We have to bomb these people until we teach them not to hate us."
On the road to NOLA
I'm packing up the computer and Yoyo the geriatric cat to drive to New Orleans. I'd like to fry up a turkey while I'm there.
more ...
just (randomly) heard our friend phoebe doing the voiceover in a visa ad for the winter olympics. its about snowboarding in the wasatch valley with a remake of Surfin USA as the soundtrack. nice work if you can get it.
ARGENTINA IS MY 50TH COUNTRY/TERRITORY
having a soiree saturday night december 1.
352 east 8th street
apt. #2
on the corner of avenue c
212-674-2052
9 pm...
be there or be square.
Off to Argentina, love you all!!!
putin visits bush at his ranch in texas. says hes looking forward to riding horseback with bush around the ranch. unfortunately, bush does not ride. but he can drive.
Doomed Plane's Number Lottery Winner
british pm tony blair has sent not so super secret agent harry potter to afghanistan to wreak havoc at the box office. having worked his magic in kabul theatres, he has moved on to bewitch taliban audiences in jalalabad and kandahar with his cuteness and pluck if not his magic. potter said the covert operation has come as a welcome relief from promoting his movie and merchandising tie-ins.
grateful for the assistance while mindful of the need to spend another 20 billion before the war ends to satisy the defense contractors, bush has issued guarded praise for the movie and potters secret intervention. he has publicly put on a good face and offered potter an open invitation to play t-ball at the whitehouse once all the evil has been wrung from bin laden. however, dratfink has unearthed secret NSA and CIA communiques outlining strategies for countering, kidnapping, cloning or killing potter if he becomes a risk to americas global hegemony.
stock for the gillette company soared on the exchange today at the prospect of an almost clean shaven afghanistan. their new ad campaign plastered on hastily assembled billboards amidst the rubble of kabul extols the virutes of 'gillette: the new face of freedom'. but dont confuse that with lancomes 'le nouveau visage de la liberté' campaign for women. the french beauty multinational have set up make-up booths in mazir e sharif to instruct the afghani women in the art and ritual of face painting. no more blaming the taliban for being dateless on a friday night, ladies!
birds cleared of all wrongdoing in airbus crash. incarcerated rebel flock leaders released from detention. bald eagles breathe easier. audobon society sues over defamation of character for birds everywhere.
america needs this kind of commitment to its olympic sports.
is this picture really necessary?
The Northern Alliance takes Kabul; the Taliban and Al-Qaeda are pinned down in the mountains and effectively neutralized; democracy is restored; Bush was right, the left was wrong; forget the Saudis, forget Palestine; let's put 9/11 behind us and get back to Britney.
"Study of Disputed Florida Ballots Finds Justices Did Not Cast the Deciding Vote" say the Bush lackies at the NYT. The headline could just as easily have read "Overvotes Put Bush Election in Doubt," but the status quo must be maintained at all costs.
Hollywood helps out with the war effort
Sure, I guess watching birds in Central Park can teach you a thing or two, and make for a fine afternoon, but to the geek birder the need for a wind tunnel is pretty clear.
Ken Kesey died today. He was 66.
Peter, I can see your house from here
Let's Roll