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Lorna Mills and Sally McKay
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This just in from Vid Ingelevics...
Following are my top ten favourite email scams of 2006:
1. Received Jan. 15, 2006. Subject: MY FAMILY NEEDS YOUR HELP - this one was from Vuyo Gwala and was labeled as "strictly private and confidential" (sorry, Vuyo). This was a convulated tale of death and heroism in Zimbabwe that somehow ends with me, for some reason, being offered 20% of USD $15,000,000 (FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS). Perhaps foolishly, I procrastinated a little too long and missed my chance.
2. Received: Jan. 20, 2006. Subject: Congratulations on your Sony 42" Widescreen Plasma TV - I was asked by Jaz Pester, Customer Service, Gift Card Division, to verify my address by Jan. 30, 11:59 PM EST because I had apparently aswered a survey (which I couldn't for the life of me remember doing). Unfortunately, I once again procrastinated too long and missed my chance as I was still mulling over Vuyo Gwala's offer - hey, I could have bought a lot of widescreen tv's with that. This was small potatoes anyway - no big loss.
3. Received: Jan. 26, 2006. Subject: Fund for Charity - Azia Al Sheriff of Kuwait sent me a gut-wrenching email that began: "Dear Friend, As you read this,I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I believe everyone will die someday." Mr. Al Sheriff's wife and children had died in a horrendous car accident and he himself had just been diagnosed with esophageal (sic) cancer that had defiled (sic) all forms of medical treatment." Basically, Azia Al Sheriff admitted in his email that he had been a jerk all his life and wanted to do some good deeds before he croaked and I could help him distribute his money to charity while collecting 20% of USD $20,000,000 (TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS). Selfishly, I chose not to help Azia with his good works.
4. Received: March 6, 2006. Subject: Royal Spanish Sweepstake Lottery - unbelievably, I received this email from Wilfred Alberto, Lottery Director, letting me know that my email address "attached to ticket number: 212005600545 188 with Serial number 4888/02 drew the lucky numbers: 41-6-76-13-45-8, which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of •1,000,000.00(One million Euro) in cash credited to file KPC/9080333308/03." While I was excited, I had already been offered 20% of USD $15,000,000 (FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) by Vuyo Gwala, a Sony 42" widescreen tv and 20% of USD $20,000,000 (TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) by Azia Al Sheriff so a million Euros was not of great consequence and hardly worth my time to reply.
5. Received: March 8, 2006. Subject: Enquiry. This was amazing. Ms. Linda Anthony of Meyer & Clark Business Consulting emailed me to let me know that a "leading United Kingdom Bank" was involved in an investigation of a client who "shares the same last name" as me. The client apparently died "intestate" and had no will or next of kin. Ingelevics is, of course, a pretty common last name in England so I didn't think I'd have a chance of collecting on this one so I passed. Linda Anthony's email was intriguing for someone who works for a business consulting agency - linda anthony100@excite.com.
6. Received: March 31, 2006. Subject: Reply Urgently - Mr. Godwin Elisha, an accountant with the Bank of Africa (BOA), Dakar Senegal Branch emailed me. He was very contrite ("I am very sorry if this is an inconvinience (sic) in any way, just that i need you to see me through with this transfer. This business request may seem strange, but I crave your indulgence and pray you view it seriously as I am convinced that you would be capable to provide me with a solution to a money transfer.") By bizarre coincidence, another person had died without a will and US$12,500,000.00 (TWELVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) was left unclaimed. Mr. Elisha kindly even gave me a link to a BBC story about a guy who recently died. I was to get 30% for helping him in a complicated plan in which mr. Elisha would wind up with 50% and 10% would be used for our "expenses". I did think it a bit odd that that didn't add up to 100% but, hey, who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth. I was a little shell-shocked by all the continuing good fortune coming my way in 2006 and somehow neglected to email or call Mr. Elisha. I'm still kicking myself.
7. Received: July 24, 2006. Subject: Dr. YOUR NAME, will it bring raise in your job? - Since I am currently enrolled at York U. doing a graduate degree this one really hit home. I've been doing course work, presentations, essays, exhibitions, etc., and then this email comes along. It states that "we can assist with diplomas from prestigious non-accredited universities based on your present knowledge and life experience" and then the kicker, "No required tests, classes, books or interviews" (!!). What have I been doing at York? I felt like a fool. The email went on - "Bachelors, masters, and doctorate (Phd) diplomas available in the field of your choice - that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits and admiration that comes with it!"
8. Received: Sept. 9, 2006. Subject: Mr. Steve Morgan! - This one was addressed to "vingelevics" and is from Mr. Steve Morgan, who works in a bank in the Netherlands. Unbelievably, again a dead bank customer has left US $ 6,500,000.00 (Six million five hundred thousand, United State dollars Only), Mr. Williams, from England. Mr. Steve Morgan helpfully tells me that Mr. Williams "has passed away (dead) leaving no beneficiary to the account." Once again I could make quite a few bucks - 40% - while 10% goes for expenses and the remaining 50% goes to Mr. Steve Morgan and his "colleagues" (who clearly know how to add). Unfortunately, I got bogged down in doing laundry one night and missed the deadline, but, hey, what a year, eh?
9. Received: Nov. 6, 2006. Subject: Treat Urgent - Miss Tina Bongo, from Abidjan-Cote d'Ivoire, West Africa begins her email thus: "It is with profound interest that i am sending you this business proposal ,which will be of benefit to you too,so much time and caution has been taken before this proposal is sent to you with a conviction that you will understand and appreciate my intention and not to betray my trust." Another tragedy has apparently befallen Miss Bongo, daughter of the Minister of Finance in Sierra Leone. Her father was killed by a rebel group but not before he had deposited the sum of $10.5m [Ten million and five hundred united states dollar] with a private security company in London, United Kingdom. For helping Miss Bongo recover this money I would make 15% plus 5% for expenses. I don't know how I let this one slip by but I did.
10. Received: Dec. 8, 2006. Subject: You WON 620,500.00 GBP to the FREE lotto SWEEPSTAKE PROGRAM - what a way to end the year! Mr. Robert Manival, Online Coordinator for free lotto Sweepstakes Program, UK Head Office, Suite 23-30, Lion Towers, Central London England, informed me by email that I had won a total sum of 620,500.00 pounds ( six hundred twenty thousand five hundred pounds ) in cash credited to file KTU / 9023118308 / 06 of Free Lotto. Imagine my surprise! Although I have to admit that being offered thousands and millions of dollars was becoming a bit routine.
I estimated that I had won and/or been offered almost CDN $250,000,000 (TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS CANADIAN) last year. I'm usually loathe to boast or to feel smug when good things happen to me but my pride just got the better of me. I just have to share this with you all. I am one lucky guy.
To a fortunate 2007,
Vid Ingelevics