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One Last Pathetic Lie from a Dying, Former Free Internet Service Provider

"AltaVista's free Web-based e-mail is the last of the portal-like services that the site offered, and, as many of you became aware of AltaVista's pure search focus, usage of the service has waned. As stated in our e-mail, the company will no longer support free e-mail after March 31st, 2002."

Translation: "As more and more of you saw flies hovering over our company..."

No, wait! I see what they mean. "As more and more of you realized how incredibly good the AltaVista search engine was getting, you guessed that email couldn't possibly be a priority for the company, so you began seeking out services for which you would have to pay." Right?

Or, maybe it means, "As our pure search focus improved, you began spending more time surfing the web and less time sending email..."

Hard to know which half-truth actually applies here. But hats off to the copywriter for such well-crafted BS.
- tom moody 2-20-2002 5:50 am [link] [add a comment]