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The Folly Of Backspin
Yeh-uh, it was on impulse that I drove along the fence line in search of knowledge regarding fences. I was on my way to take a shower and I thought--I'll just drive my truck where I've never driven it before, look at fence, ruminate, and then go back to the house and clean up so I'll be fresh for the evening's beer drinking. I might have thought that I would be wiser for this experience, a wise old beer drinking fool, scratching his chin and chuckling about all the tidbits of wisdom floating around in his skull.

One might occasionally ruminate before doing stupid things, reconsider motivation, and finding none, abort mission.

I however don't always aspire to avoiding stupidity.

Off the path I saw standing water, drove just beyond it and to an elevation lower than it and turned in its direction. This I did to avoid getting stuck in the mud. I drove into a soggy bog to avoid getting stuck in the mud. And what I discovered was something wonderful, a world of untold mystery unfolded before my eyes; it was a magical time encapsulated inside a few ticking seconds; my heart beat wildly as I gazed upon the profile of her fulsome breasts (they say a man has a sexual fantasy every fifteen seconds).

But my fantasy was just a brief prelude to self-degrading, vitriolic, profane self-abuse. I cussed myself. You stupid f-ing d-head.

I walked to the top of the hill where the vaguely eastern-european day helper was sweeping the porch and I said, come on son, we got work to do, and I briefly described the predicament, telling him we would use the little jeep and try to pull the truck from the mud. You will try to use little jeep for this purpose? the vaguely eastern-european day helper said and I just grunted back, yeh-uh.

The little jeep has mostly been considered a toy for ferrying about the property visiting dignataries and it was a long shot to consider that it would have the strength to pull a medium sized truck stuck, or unstuck, in mud. With the broken-english-speaking vaguely eastern-european day helper driving the jeep and me behind the wheel of the truck and a tow rope between us, we conspired to extricate.

This proved to be a successful venture followed by me feeling so much the wiser. I showered but decided not to shave so there would be a few gray beard hairs to scratch that evening while I drank my beers.

The vaguely eastern european day helper said, now we play bocce? Sure kid, I said, and proceeded to school him regarding the folly of affected backspin.
- jimlouis 8-06-2004 5:05 pm [link] [9 comments]

Cute Furry Rodent
It is an ongoing battle in which I climb up this hill imagining every morning the hideous beasts from nightmares caught in the frail store-bought snare only to be confronted with mostly empty traps licked clean of the peanut butter enticement.

And when not empty the captured beast turns out to be a little country mouse. You've seen the cartoons which depict the differences between the smart-talking, wily, city mouse and the barefoot, simple-minded country mouse. I know you have.

Except that the country mice out here are naked. I mean they are not wearing suspendered dungareees, sporting straw hats, or clenching between their dead jaws, a corncob pipe.

The score, not that this is a battle with a clear sense of winner and loser, is something like 14-3, in favor of the mice. Of course the 3 equals dead mice and the 14 is just a dab of licked clean peanut butter from an unsprung store-bought mouse trap. So clearly, the stakes are a little higher for rodents around here.

I have tried two slightly different versions of the standard, snap-your-neck mouse trap with equally unpredictable results. I sense there to be a master mouse who goes as yet untrapped, who may in fact be luring his lesser foot soldiers into scenarios of guaranteed expiration. It is the sense of this master mouse which has me peeking with clenched teeth into this kitchen every morning, expecting something horrific, like one of those modern experiments gone awry. Not just a mouse with a human ear growing from its side but maybe a miniature human head, that looks like Dick Cheney but speaks like George Bush and smokes cigarettes, like Laura.

But no, not yet. The three dead ones have all been cute--grey, furry, petite, non-threatening even in their horrific poses of surprise demise.

Nothing caught this morning. Score 16-3.
- jimlouis 8-02-2004 4:19 pm [link] [5 comments]

Ten Times Better Or Worse
Where you start from is important. I was in a bar for dinner last night and four of us were positioned such that we could have been friends if in fact we were not complete strangers. Three men, one woman. The woman was drinking beer and an occasional novelty drink that disparaged the nationality responsible for most of my favorite alcohol drinks.

The man on my right soon bowed out after the man on my left started making nice with the woman across from me.

The man on my left was the alpha-male and down about the bottom of stout number one I become the fly on the wall instead of a human being. He and she exchanged enthusiasms about the mundane and I thought but for the grace of self-consciousness go I.

After the man and woman came down from the initial exhilaration of "hey, look at us talking like old friends" the man went into an apparently non-exhaustive litany of have you been to this bar or that bar and the woman for the most part, hadn't.

The bartender brought my burger and with apparent sincerity said doesn't that look good, and it did look good, in fact it looked much better than it tasted.

The bartender says Ricky Williams quit football to smoke pot and I said oh give the guy a break, that's too much an over-simplification. I have never been a huge RW fan but I like him for being a quitter, laying on beaches around the world, being nice to his kids, contributing to communities and saying FU to a sport that given its own natural order would have chewed him up and spit him out.

The woman across from me I knew from listening had a kid and when she said don't you think he has a responsibility to sports-loving children not to promote pot-smoking I realized a chance to make points by saying yes but I said no, I don't think he has that responsibility.

The alpha-male was acting all dumb like he didn't know what was going on and I could only suppose he did not follow football so I queried him on this and he got a little snippy, like of course I follow football, I'm a beer drinking alpha-male. I filled him in on the specifics. He got rolling and a little steamy and red in the face and said don't you think maybe he's just looking for press coverage so he can promote his lifestyle and make more money...and I'm like, no I don't think that, and he gets a little more steamed and I say hey chill mane, and he says all Mr. America now, that he doesn't know anything about pot and I say well it ain't nothin, I can school ya if you like. This got a chuckle from the woman and a hand-waving, head-shaking, no, no, no, from the alpha-male.

So Ricky Williams has personality disorders. So he likes pot. So he has personal experience which allows him to compare the prescription anti-depression drug, Paxil, to marijuana, and proclaim that the weed is tens times better for him. Your kids will get over this.

The bartender also thought Ricky had responsiblity to the kids, not to be a pot-smoking drop-out. It's not that every once in awhile you should consider that everything you know is wrong, you should consider it every morning.
- jimlouis 7-30-2004 4:29 pm [link] [2 comments]

BigHouse Mouse
I have set up these gadgets two nights in a row. The way these gadgets work is you spread a little bait, I use peanut butter, on a metallic part that is connected to a metal arm that holds in check this spring mechanized noninvasive guillotine arm that actually works more like a catapult from hell, and when working properly, will snap almost in two the neck of the rodent in your kitchen. Sometimes it gets him by the tail and you have to chase the panicked clacking around the house for awhile before your work is done.

But I come up here in the morning from my mouseless, cat-occupied dwelling down the hill and the metal part is licked clean of peanut butter and the trap is unsprung.

I could bring the cat up here (even though the owners don't really want cats up in here) and set him loose hoping he still has a bit of the hunter spirit. Though it may be that the only thing he is hunting at this point in his life is time. The time when I pour his kibbles into a bowl in the morning. Or the time at night when I play kung fu warrior with him.

Alas, this is the nature of what I now consider travail, the unsprung trap, a mild (frankly non-existent) resentment towards the well-fed mouse, so let it all be considered fine and good.
- jimlouis 7-28-2004 4:36 pm [link] [6 comments]

F Me
I'm down by the road in front of a palatial estate power sanding fence and drinking beer in the early evening and people drive by and wave but I can't see them that well because my goggles are fogged over and paint chips are stuck to the fog so for all I know the people may be shooting me the finger.

The bus driver stopped by earlier and asked me if I was the owner, which was a nice opening because then after he left I imagined myself the owner for a few minutes and it wasn't all bad. I am replacing rotted fence rails (and sanding and painting) and he wanted to know what I was doing with the discarded boards, (rough sawn oak 1X6s), and I told him they go to the burn pile. He wanted some because he thought there was some good wood in there and who am I to argue that? I told him to stop by sometime, he can have all the burn pile fence material he wants. His talking to me on the road was backing up traffic and after realizing this he moseyed on. The one held up car crept behind him. She did not wave but may have shot me the finger.

Some people that pass by know me but I don't always know them. "I saw you out front," people will occasionally say and I stock-response them with, "oh, that was you.?"

Nobody ever extends out to me an ice cold beer on a warm summer night.

The Beatles were a very popular group and many of their songs are very short, and sincere. So this is me being short and sincere. My motivation is not to be popular. I'd just as soon you shot me the finger.
- jimlouis 7-23-2004 3:53 pm [link] [add a comment]

Eating Out Alot
If you hear every word spoken at a gathering it is similar to hearing nothing at all or like hearing white noise interspersed with names and places and things and punctuation.

Over breakfast I'm wondering will that woman ever shut up, enough already with the fascinating minutiae, check the glazing of her eyes across from you. When she said then what happened she meant will you please shut up and let me eat.

And then later, I'm eating out again, at some other place, and this player comes in licking his chops. This guy won't shut up either but at least he's hitting on a young woman, has a purpose. The guy had that single-minded manner which both fascinated me and horrified me at the same time. I was jealous of his confidence but glad I don't have it, glad I am not burdened by yet another dubious talent. Sensitivity being the other one I have. Okay, maybe that's not a talent.

The girl to her credit was not gushing, although probably flattered and maybe a little horrified like me. The dude was GQ off the map though, and probably affected that Miami Vice look back when that was popular. Guy just passing through thought he pick him a local flower, nothing wrong with that I guess as long as I don't have to watch the courtship. Here's my card he said, undaunted by the fact that theretofore she had not uttered one encouraging response to his blather. Right before I left I thought about stabbing the guy in his face with my butter knife, but only in that light-hearted cartoon sort of way that wouldn't require stitches.

I usually clean up a little before going to this place but today I hadn't, just kind of shook the dried paint flecks from my hair and clothes and went on with it. Another young woman, an employee, she said to me, gosh Jim, you look a little frazzled today. I kind of get a kick out of candor, regardless of the message. Thank you T, I said, you by the way look very nice.
- jimlouis 7-14-2004 4:06 pm [link] [add a comment]

The Curmudgeon
For the second time this week a man came up the driveway and asked could he fish the pond. I said no.

I was second coating the white picket fence around the pool and I heard the sound of car wheels on a gravel road and then a two honk blast. Yeah, let me just stop what I'm doing, it ain't important. The man drove a small truck and if every man has a theme song this man's song would have been that dueling bangos bit from Deliverance.

He stayed in his truck and I kept my distance, bare-footed and shirtless and armed only with a paint brush taped to a stick. My ribs glinted in the noonday sun. He looked me up and down once in that way that reminded me of lonely truck drivers from back when I was a kid hitchhiking. He said he was staying in the truck because he been bit by a dog once and I used that creepy manner I sometimes use and said "well we ain't got a dog but it's better to be safe."

He said he would only use a fly rod and would catch and release but I dismissed his hopeful intentions with an I don't care about all that. I told him he was the fourth person to come asking for fishing priviledges this week (a lie based solely on the fact that I like the sound of four better than two) and that I didn't see what all the attraction to that little pond was. "I fish it every once in awhile and only catch the same damn sun perch each time," I told him.

The gardener came by later to water plants that I had not only already watered but had also painted a bit. "I should have ripped those out of the ground, why you plant something before I second coat the fence?" I bitched. Sometimes I think she playing with me, pushing my buttons on account of she knows I feel somewhat friendly towards her and she bored with whatever else she got going on. I myself am not that bored. I intend to proceed along the path of respectful behaviour. But don't come over here bothering me with your can I fish the pond shit. This ain't Mayberry RFD and I ain't Andy. And if you come up that driveway and stop me from whatever I'm doing it better be cuz you bringing me some food or beer. The gardener and her boyfriend have both intimated that I should be more hospitable, get out more, invite more people in, become more in tune with Rappahannock ways. Yeah, well, in due time. Until then though, tune this.
- jimlouis 6-30-2004 8:54 pm [link] [5 comments]

Karma Gardner
All I said was I ain't getting enough calories and the next day this local chef who works a place that for breakfast pretty much only serves egg sandwiches brings me out this plate heaped high with his own version of mac and cheese with some homefries, edges blackened and sauteed, with onions and red and green peppers. I ran a chainsaw for a couple of hours after that and hauled brush for awhile and still had that mac in my belly.

But protein, where's my protein? So I go back to the place today, and not wanting to work the situation, when he asked me what today I just said I could have that egg sandwich I guess. He said you like meat, yeah, mushrooms, yeah--man I eat everything. I paid for a egg sandwich and my coffee and went out to the dining room and sat so I could see the baby robins up in that nest outside the window but I think they gone now.

Tourists from the city come in and I like a good tourist in a controlled environment because I am easily entertained. This dude's wife looks very healthy and happy and I enjoy being around healthy happy people even though I'm a little grumpy from being up late at Wolftrap doing that Ponty/DiMeola/Clarke concert last night. I had seats that were so good they wouldn't even let you drink beer in them so I drank my thirteen dollars worth of beer up on the lawn and went back and forth to my seat and the bathroom all night. Girls and boys wait in the same line and use a bathroom with one toilet and everybody in the beginning puts the seat down. If there's a dude behind you you soon realize it is not only impractical but obnoxious to put the seat down. People in the line ask you how you digging it and you, or, I rather, insult Jean luc Ponty but then go back to my seat and have him show me what an idiot I am. The three of them did short solo sets and Jean luc's was the best I've heard him but that's only comparing to once, twenty-five years ago. It was very much like liking Paul McCartney on the Concert for George dvd after not liking him for 35 years. Al DiMeola was ok and Stanley Clarke is phenomenal.

So the dude with the beautiful wife is himself beautiful, no other way to describe certain people. That dude, with his light French accent and perfect proportions and easy-going manner has never had a moment of self-doubt. The two beautiful people have in tow two ordinary people, one of whom gets stuck almost apologizing for a past life which included a non-glamorous job. By the time that happened though I was almost finished with today's treat, which turned out to be a steak and cheese and mushroom omelet, homefries, and a little salad with lettuce, tomato, and small pieces of marinated hammered chicken breast.

The beautiful wife leaned over the booth in front of me and apologized for her husband who she predicted was going to long for my meal. He did. He said he was jealous and I took a bite and said you should be. His pitiful little breakfast came out a few minutes later and he leaned over the booth again and I shooed him and his little girly sandwich away while licking the chicken marinade off of my lips.

The Karma Gardener came by and offered a bag of greens because she had too much and I took a bag gladly. My cup overfloweth so I offered half my greens to the pretty couple but the Karma Gardener gave them their own bag.
- jimlouis 6-14-2004 3:43 pm [link] [2 comments]

Lollygagging Handyman
Springtime in the country means baby bunnies, crisp clear blue skies, greenery, flowers blooming, bees buzzing, fawns in the meadow, and dead birds in the backyard.

I saw a dead bird in Mr. BC's backyard yesterday and sometime later, all of this occurring in bright broad daylight, the dead mangled bird was gone. Do bunnies kill birds and later cart off to some underground den their lifeless stiff mottled bodies? I don't think so.

Do baby deer leap flaking rotten fences (where are the ambitious handymen?) in the daytime, swat birds from the sky, and then hide in the bushes until that lollygagging handyman turns some corner so they can retrieve the ornithological carcass, take it into the woods and engage it in some primitive pagan ritual? I cannot say for sure, but I think not.

Do birds kill other birds? This would seem likely. But do they then remove the bodies? I could read up on that but I've got to get to work soon (the more I survey the fences out here the more I exclaim, to myself mostly, holy damn cow.)

At present time there are no cats out here, except for mountain lions and bobcats, and no dogs except for coyotes and hamster-eating gardeners pets, and no foxes except for foxes, no skunks except skunks, fish yes but none that fly or that I am aware of having mortal grudges against birds.

The sun rises, mysteries abound.
- jimlouis 6-07-2004 4:02 pm [link] [3 comments]

Pretty Nice Environment
Birds chirp, gentle cool breezes blow, green mountain ridges everywhere I glance.

The first time I came out here, last August, I brought with me a New Orleans Times Picayune photo and stashed it in the kitchen cabinet right over there in front of me. It showed the muzzle flare from a machine gun being fired at someone off camera at an NO area carwash, the scene caught on the carwash's survelliance camera.

The camera showed two guys pretty clearly, which aided the police in quick identification and subsequent arrest. As it turns out the shooters were mistaken as to the identity of the people they were shooting at and besides that, no one was killed. At trial last month prosecutors were not able to find any actual human beings to back up the id made by the camera and so the judge let the two guys on camera and a third guy go home.

The one guy, 19-year-old Antoine Johnson--"A man now considered the city's most wanted suspect is accused of shooting at a 13-year-old boy late Tuesday before slipping back into the obscurity that has shielded him since he allegedly killed a man and wounded a teenage girl two days after his release from jail last month." (tara young, notp).

Police note that gun violence has increased dramatically in the area surrounding Johnson's home and hideouts (in the BW Cooper) since his release.

A woman I like but not like that has asked me if she could ask me over for a home-cooked meal sometime and this she was asking me while I sampled again the fare at an area eatery, near to which she was doing her laundry, and slipping into for drinks. I said sure, even though in our brief conversation there was not even one exchange which implied the mildest simpatico between us, the most glaring example of which is that she almost had me wanting to defend Dick Cheney just for the mean-spirited sake of it. (The new bartender was playing Incubus on the sound system and I, ever polite, said, no, you don't need to turn it down.) Not that it is without precedent but it has been awhile since I have felt so totally un-got. Sigh.

I should make clear though, that this is a pretty nice environment in which to be alone.
- jimlouis 6-03-2004 5:23 pm [link] [1 comment]

Rocheblave Ribbon
In the end the final mechanical inspection for the Rocheblave house, the one I had been for so long dreading, amounted to ninety seconds of small talk, a glance around, and a handshake. The inspector remembered me from--well, you know, it took me years (4.2) to finish this job--way back and had wondered if I'd ever finish. He even went way beyond the call of duty and without telling me set in motion all the steps which resulted in the last official detail, the release of the permanent electric meter. I had to make some calls to verify this, a thing (phone calling) which overcoming fear of impresses me well beyond the proportionate difficulty of the task.

The permanent meter does not really perform any differently than the temporary meter but I would not be able to leave here and rent the place out with a temporary meter. And the temporary meter, attached to a four by four pounded into the ground in front of the house was so Beverly Hillbilly, on a property in a neighborhood surrounded by attempts at improvement, even if all attempts at improvement are seemingly overwhelmed by the general ghetto nature of New Orleans.

I have been given the Rocheblave ribbon of completion, which I wear proudly on a uniform not at all replete with ribbons of completion. M on Dumaine is taking care of some business for me that requires multiple phone calling and this I divulge as a preemptive admission against partisan politicians who may try to keep me from my bid as rightful landlord of the white house, on the premise that I did not earn my ribbon of completion. I ain't maybe all that I could be but I feel most earnestly that I earned my ribbon. Requiring assistance is not a weakness. There, I said it.

I have a few odds and ends to take care off, a piece of wood to put here or there, and a little painting to do inside and out (It is raining all day everyday this week so I'm wishing me luck.) Got to get some carpet in the bedroom (can't pick it up because of rain); make one last haul to the dump; get the AC checked; do a change of address; pay some bills; load up the truck; take some pictures; go to the park; can't afford crawfish this year; have some keys copied; of course procrastinate to the very end; say a goodbye or two; go up on the roof and check it out; watch my last two Netflix DVDs, part 1 of 50 Years War: Israel and the Arabs, and Fog of War; drive away.
- jimlouis 5-14-2004 8:03 pm [link] [14 comments]

Weekend In New Orleans
In New Orleans news reporting sometimes the headlines will read "5 shot within 4 hours," and other times such facts must be pieced together by faithful readers, and supplemented with TV news. It was from TV that I got the numbers I wrote about the other day, 7 shootings, two of them deaths, in a two-day period ending at 5p.m. Saturday.

So the good news is the city is experiencing a period where there are not shootings and murder every day of the week. The bad news is the shootings we are having here are relatively high profile: children armed with guns murdering other children; teenage bystanders getting hit in crossfire; 8-year-old girls being shot in the back; a pregnant local girl killed by stray gunfire on a Mardi Gras parade route; a Jazzfest tourist murdered near the fairgrounds; aging rock stars chasing purse snatchers and being shot in the leg; cars burning on the side of the road with bullet-riddled bodies in the trunk.

A large part of the yearly murders in New Orleans are gangster killing gangster. As long as their aim is true and no innocents are nicked in crossfire, nobody, as far as I can tell, really gives a fuck about these murders. We won't admit it but we think it is cost effective justice. The perpetrators are scary people we can't seem to or don't want to understand. Born of us, maybe, but these hoodlings are foreigners on our soil. They cannot be of us because then we would be of them and that is too scary to conceive. We suppress the memory of 200--400 murdered bodies every year and glorify the travesty of the occasional tourist or upstanding citizen who will every so often get shot dead in New Orleans.

I think the criminals are either crying out for help or are merciless purveyors of irony because over the years sure as a local politician or police chief reports that crime is down the next month is filled with bizarre and heinous violent crime. Most recently our police chief was all over the local media patronizing all us dumb locals with his poor imitation of the Gore/Kerry sigh of condescension--murder is down by twenty percent people, I don't know what to tell you, you people who persist that crime is up, this perception that crime is up is wrong. Well Ok, I stand corrected.

By the way, Sunday, about one in the morning, I heard four loud gunshots, maybe two blocks away. No sirens, no subsequent reports from the media. Today, in Tuesday's paper, is an unrelated Sunday shooting that resulted in death, in Central City at 4th and Daneel.

So, a Monday headline could have, but did not, read--New Orleans weekend, at least 8 shot, 3 dead. We are not allowed to behave as if it is pertinent but all the victims may be presumed black, and poor.

And now, late in the succeeding week of a weekend where 8 people were shot, I feel not too much at all about it. It is a completely forgotten series of events. We all have our lives to get on with; there is no point in remembering. And our consciences as represented by media coverage are quiet. I would like to suggest that there is something wrong with all of us for forgetting so easily but that's all I'm going to do is suggest, I'm not going to point any fingers, or indulge in self-recrimination.

Lastly, almost daily NO media updates inform us that justice will be served if you are stupid enough to kill a very white tourist. There is motion towards trying as adults the four teenagers involved in the Jazzfest slaying. First the 14-year-old shooter has to pass a psych exam and then it must be proved the juvenile detention system will be incapable of reforming the alleged young killer. So if the kid passes all his tests and the state (juvenile system) fails its' tests, then ostensibly there will be a go ahead for the adult-style prosecution of this 14-year-old. In which case the state will undoubtedly begin conversations about the death penalty. I have been on record as not being against every instance of state sanctioned death so I would have to in this case look again at the facts, see what I feel.

Ok, well, I've thought about it. I think we should just round up all bad people, and kill them. Then only good people would have guns, and the world would be safer, for, um, more killing. The benefits of this in New Orleans would be immeasurable. If only good people were doing the killing then killing would be a good thing. It could be celebrated. We could have more parades, more tourists, more money, more guns, more killing, more parades…
- jimlouis 5-13-2004 8:38 pm [link] [53 comments]

New Kid On Block
I made eye contact with a Rocheblave area street kid at 6:30 a.m. because I was going for coffee and he was riding his bike right past my driveway as I put the key in the door of the truck. I double took him and burned him hard on the second take because he looked so familiar. I knew right off that he wasn't who I thought he was because the kid I was thinking of is hiding from some people who want to kill him. People around here these days say I want to kill you not as a figure of speech but as a literal promise. I guess civilization is not a static process.

But I'd already committed with this new kid, eye contact almost as powerful as a love poem to some people. I was in the truck when he wheeled up next to me. I rolled down the window and he said, "you straight?" Now some of you are going to think this is the beginning of a sexual come on but things have changed over the years and "you straight?" doesn't have sexual connotation anymore. It means, more or less, are you cool? Which means, more or less, do you have everything you need?

I said, "I'm good," which of course doesn't mean that I am but more or less means I am ok, or, I have everything I need, or want.

The kid asked me some personal questions about my drug habits and the truth is, other than alcohol, I haven't really messed with drugs for the last several months. But when he asked me if I smoke I just forgot, as I so often do, how handy it is to use the truth as a way to lie to people, and I blurted out, "sure." He told me what he could do for me but I just can't seem to find the interest for any of that right now, so I said, "no man, but thanks for asking. If I change my mind I'll look for you." He rolled by, down the street, a few days later and I can't help looking at him because he reminds me so much of this one person, or possibly two people. I tell him I have everything I need, which seems like a lie (I'm getting the hang of it now) but might be the truth. I want to tell him to be a good boy, go to church, study hard, respect his elders, look both ways before crossing, eat vegetables, and drink plenty of water, but I don't because what I want to do and what I end up doing don't always dovetail. He persists with the hard sell but I'm a busy man, a busy, busy man walking up my steps. I just shake my head and go inside.
- jimlouis 5-11-2004 9:14 pm [link] [add a comment]

Energetic Black Dog
More people wounded in Central City crossfire Friday, 14-year-old girl and her 51-year-old mother. And a dude in eastern NO answered the knocking of a front door and then closed it when he saw the assault rifle pointing at him. The door was insufficient to the task of saving his life, he died, and a woman in the back of the house was treated at the scene for a mild facial abrasion, otherwise known as a stray bullet wound to the head. (As of 5 p.m. Sat., 7 people have been shot in the city this weekend, two fatally, the second death a half dozen blocks from here at Bienville and Gayosa, 15-year-old boy shot dead.)

A belligerent man on the bayou yelled out at me did I have a cigarette. I just shook my head and went back to reading the morning paper's assessment of Rumsfeld. It was nice of him to warn us that there are worse images to come, even though imagining thus has become more or less the default for many of us.

An energetic black dog jumped in the bayou and retrieved a yellow tennis ball.

Over the ten years of occasional step sitting by that Dumaine bridge over the bayou there is only one person I recognize from year to year and to her I think I've only said hello once. I don't blame either one of us for our reticence. I wonder if seeing her today will be a last?

I replaced another window at the Dumaine house today. Saw an old pal, like me a former resident of the block. He was doing some work on a rental unit across the street. He shared his cold sugary juice drink with me. He told me something that I guess I already knew but had put aside so as not to feel everything at once. Sometimes I wish I could tell you the whole story but don't count on that ever happening.

We humans are so resilient and optimistic. Hoping for good things to happen even as all around us there is ample evidence to suggest those good things will never happen without a bucketful of bad to balance the scale. You get a raise, a man across town steps in dogshit; God grants you peace and understanding, four students get shot in Maryland; boogie down all day at Jazzfest, get shot in the head afterwards.

Sometimes the good and bad is such a stew you don't know whether to stir it, serve it, spit in it, or throw it out. Carol Robinson of Newhouse News Service writes, "Virgil Lamar Ware, 13, was reinterred in Birmingham this week with all the honor of a dignitary--15 white stretch limousines stood not far from his custom-designed bronzed grave ledger. A high school choir gathered on a pretty hillside to sing for him."

He was dug up and moved to a place of respect after 41 years in an unmarked grave in a makeshift cemetery, where he had rested patiently as a forgotten victim of Deep South atrocity.

"Virgil was the sixth person killed in Birmingham on Sept. 15, 1963, following the bombing deaths of the four girls (at the 16th Street Baptist Church) and the slaying of Johnnie Robinson, who was shot by police after he threw rocks to protest the church bombing."

That day Virgil rode on the handle bars of his brother's bicycle, around five p.m., oblivious to the day's previous murders. Two 16-year-old Eagle Scouts riding double on a red motorcycle with confederate flag decals, inspired and fired up from the segregationist rally they had just attended, came upon Virgil and his brother and fired twice a .22 caliber pistol, hitting Virgil once in the head and once in the chest. He fell off the bike, said a few parting words to brother James, and died.

The two Eagle Scouts, Larry Joe Sims and Michael Lee Farley, were punished. Sims was convicted of manslaughter and Farley pleaded guilty to second degree manslaughter. They both received the same sentence. Seven months in county jail. With probation. Which was then lifted the next year so they could attend college.
- jimlouis 5-10-2004 10:57 pm [link] [3 comments]

2Ks And G-Man
In cyberspace, no one can see you eat rare yellow-fin tuna.

A recent history of making not one iota of effort towards the healthy, fun, rewarding world of social interaction has not prevented me from accepting dinner invitations from complete strangers on the web.

I was a few days ago accosted in cyberspace by two word wielding corporate girls who threatened to stalk me to the end of my days if I did not give in to their demands. Dinner, as a going away (me going away) appreciation gift for this very blog, which they confess to occasionally reading when they damn well should be doing their corporate duties.

It was as if I had been secretly waiting for complete strangers to ask me out to one of New Orleans' premier Uptown eateries, Dick and Jenny's. I did not even think about not accepting.

One of the women brought her husband, and said husband did wear a badge, which caused nary a moment of emotional conflict for me except perhaps that I did at one point suffer badge envy. Because a badge worn down on the belt looks way cool, not to mention that it carries some of the same implications of a holstered firearm, while being so much lighter.

There was some doubt, on both sides, whether a meeting of strangers like this is a good thing. The roommate of the unmarried woman suggested that maybe she was crazy and that this was so unlike her. One of my readers, an actual Admiral, suggested it may be a trap. My nephew's wife expressed some real concern that I was going to be hacked to bits. "Yeah, but they're going to feed me first," I explained. Her return look was to imply that I had no way of knowing that. So I told her of previous experience with strangers as a hitchhiker but that only led to all of us realizing, well, truth told, people can be very strange, even dangerous.

In the end it was easy, and quite enjoyable, and no one was fed into a wood chipper. If there was anything marring the night I would say it was the very lightly-held resentment of one of the K's, who rightfully suggested that she be held in higher esteem than she felt is offered as a figment of Mark's imagination, not that Jim owes anyone an apology, I'm just saying.
- jimlouis 5-07-2004 8:33 pm [link] [1 comment]

Dope And Ideas
The New Orleans School Board is holding hostage the students of this city with an arsenal of weapons including incompetence, deceit, lack of vision, misappropriation of funds, and a general negligence comparable to that of a large block of the parental population.

Mayor Nagin, with no power to affect change but through cooperation with a willing school board, is meeting stiff resistance from Board president Cheryl Mills, who cannot seem to find the time to meet with him. Nagin was voted into office largely on the premise that his business background would be a useful credential in a city that, outside of its ability to attract tourist dollars, is a failed business. Nagin, in his first two years, has had some success cleaning up the administrative and fiscal affairs at City Hall and has suggested that given the chance he could find 50 million dollars in the district budget (a budget from which mostly recently 30 million dollars just disappeared into thin air) and use that money to secure 1 billion dollars in construction bonds, to repair old schools and build new ones.

It must be said that Cheryl Mills has ample reason to resist such assistance. I myself just ain't educated enough to know what the reason is.

From the Picayune Op-ed page today comes a remarkably simple, politically savvy solution to the, uh, Iraqi conflict, from Metairie resident, Mr. JC Jaeger. "Let's bring true democracy to the people of Iraq. Allow them to vote on whether they want the coalition forces, led by America, to remain in or to leave their country."

In another letter, from a resident of Baton Rouge, visiting Jazzfest last week with his son from Texas, is expressed a disappointment at the amount of open pot smoking inside the fairgrounds and possibly even a case of someone openly snorting cocaine. He queries--"Is this really the impression we want visitors to have of the Jazzfest." Pretty simply sir, the answer to that is, yes. And here I go again blathering forth my ignorance with no first hand knowledge to back my assertions but I would like to strongly suggest that most of the really good dope being smoked inside the fairgrounds is being brought in by those very same visitors you are suggesting might be offended by it. I mean, you know, maybe.
- jimlouis 5-05-2004 7:43 pm [link] [add a comment]

Occupy America
I didn't do anything Sunday, which is my God-given right.

I thought previous to not doing anything that I might do something, and that consoled me against any guilt I might feel for lack of accomplishment. I repeated this formula throughout the day to arrive at this point in time, at which I feel comfortable talking about it.

With things as they are in the world, or more accurately, as things are exacerbated by the carelessness of an evangelical inspired world leader, I feel it almost a responsibility to watch from this Central Standard Time, Chris Matthews at 7 a.m., to Stephenopolous signing off at 11:30 a.m., all I can stomach of everything offered on a Sunday morning regarding world affairs. I honestly think this is me taking queasy comfort in the fact that to whatever degree I am myself a hopeless fuckup, at least I have never aspired to be it on such a level as to inflict the entire goddamn world with my insanity. Let me suggest that when George Will is finding fault with the Republican vision, things are dire. And speaking of dire.

I bought the Sunday paper this morning to see who it was that got killed walking back alone from Jazzfest Saturday night, near the Bayou St. John, but all I can tell you about it from the words offered is that he was fifty, with white hair and beard, and that he wore a fanny pack, and that he was shot in the head, and lived for a couple of hours at Charity Hospital, and was announced dead slightly before 10p.m.

As if life is not absurd and brutal enough, I watched today for the first time, this is to underscore my earlier admission of not doing anything, an entire episode of the television phenomenon known as Friends. It is part of my ongoing attempt to embrace that which horrifies me. I am now invested, and can speak knowingly and nod sympathetically at those events in the future which require an understanding about things I could care less about. I will add with not one drop of irony that Rachael and I have birthdays one day apart. I can even hear from this past in which I sit the bubbly incredulity of response to that bit of birthday trivia.

I am not a snob against popular culture and I can see how the show might be a comfortable way to spend a few minutes every week (or as will be likely with future syndication, every day) but there is something about the smooth, warm, yet occasionally grating chemistry of that cast which makes me feel just a little bit nauseous.

There has been intense local coverage of the Jazzfest shooting victim over the last few days. Three of the four youngsters, ages 14--16, recognized the undercover cop car parked in the block, but the 14-year-old was walking behind his three friends when he demanded the 57-year-old man give him money. Allegedly, the man said he had no money and then told the kid to scram. The kid then, according to his friends, approached his friends, expressed contempt for being dismissed like that, said he had a "gat," and then scooted back up the sidewalk and perfunctorily shot the man in the back of the head. The cops were nearby and gave chase. Within 48 hours all four youths were in custody, the 14-year-old alleged shooter having turned himself in. Community response is predictable: horror, sadness, and finger pointing.

The mayor and the chief of police tell us crime is down and yet most every citizen of New Orleans speaks of crime as the foremost problem in the city. Is perception truth or is truth something that can be measured as a statistical certainty? One truth is, crime will often be down in New Orleans because of the relative spike which precedes a so-called (yet literal) downturn. But just to pick an arbitrary time period, say, the ten years I have watched, crime, measured statistically or perceptually, has never, ever, been down in New Orleans. Not to the point where you could sigh that sigh of relief and say--good fucking job fellow citizens, we put our heads to the problem, got a little dirty, and created a better place.

It’s a pesky problem, these 14-year-old killers. They are, like those "bands of thugs" in foreign countries you try to occupy, a difficult nut to crack. They are, by far, a minority as related to the general population. But in many cases they are barely distinguishable from "good" boys. It's hard to know with any certainty who will step over the line.

I am writing all these words as a way of searching for something that approaches constructive criticism of a problem that doesn't appear to be going away. Very unscientifically speaking, the ages of those willing to kill is getting younger and younger. I'm just wondering if we couldn't divert maybe a billion or two of our war fund into a tamper-proof account, make misappropriation of that money a capital offense, bring in volunteers, pay volunteers, re-educate our troops so that they could actually rebuild schools like some imagined they would be doing in Iraq. Refurbish a couple thousand (of the reported 70,000) of this city's blighted houses, pay people to live in them as mentors of the block and offer the full range of educational material available on this planet. Bring in 10,000 troops or so, forget the frisbees but put a portable hoop on every block, engage the children in sport, escort them to school, sit in their classrooms, encourage them. Bring in the ACLU, consult with them, learn from them. Then take chances. Set up boot camps for the hopelessly disruptive students. Often the disruptive kid has amazing talents, well worth developing. I bet there are not 2,000 or 3,000 truly disruptive kids in this whole city. They need one on one attention. Bring in more troops. I shouldn't have to mention this but I will anyway. Be respectful, never sodomize someone with a broomstick. Teach girl children benefits of postponing pregnancy. Or make mandatory classes for teenage mothers. Mandatory learning. Consult again with ACLU.

I haven't even gotten all that ridiculous and this already sounds ridiculous. Until I refocus on current events in this city and in the world, then it just seems kind of thin and not all that well thought out. But I mean, fuckit, let's Occupy America.
- jimlouis 5-04-2004 9:24 pm [link] [add a comment]