Anyone know a sous chef who wants to move to Portland? From Naomi Pomeroi:
"Friends. Please spread the word far and wide and to the very best of the best. Beast needs a sous-chef. I need a sous chef. Someone will come that is perfect (I know!). We just got our beard award and we are busy and super excited to play. Bring me the peeps!!"

untitled (black on maroon)

I'm at brother's house. Mom is visiting. He put on the netflix and started playing Bridget Jones Diary. Oh. God. Make. It. Stop.

you kind of knew comedy central and jon stewart wanted to have either a woman or a minority take over the colbert slot so its not too much of a surprise that senior black correspondent larry wilmore got the nod. i thought perhaps they might go with john hodgman but among the daily show stable id say this is a pretty solid selection. still unfortunate about that the john oliver timing as he was best suited for the job.

ive got four days to download nearly any movie. what should i get? please read my mind to find out what ive seen or should resee and for the love of god dont bore me.

anybody that had the first week of may in the raffle for the time when i would indelibly stain my idiotically purchased off white sofa... you win. come pick up your prize, an indelibly stained off white sofa at your earliest convenience.

my friend's fb post:

Gave up my seat on the bus this morning for a lady and her...uh "baby."

RIP Sturtevant
George A. A. Dellschau
letters to the newyorker editor
Agnes Martin essay (PDF)
questions to Stella and Judd

http://www.esquire.com/blogs/food-for-men/how-not-to-get-drunk one word, yeast

whole food giveth and whole foods taketh away. today it was giveth and im not talking about the free sample of yogurt with chia seeds which tasted like soggy granola. locked my bike up out front again to one of those circular racks the city occasionally sees fit to install and when i came out after about 20 minutes i realized i had locked the front wheel to the frame but somehowi did not feed it through the rack. it was just leaning against it for anyone to walk away with albeit with a hefty lock that might have taken some effort to undo. actually the lock is worth about as much as the bike. needless to say i would have been more than a little crestfallen had it been gone and i never would have known i was mostly to blame.

1692 Dutch color book
5/5: no limes? No problem.

Bosnian pensioner Momir Bojic cleans his wooden Volkswagen Beetle car in front of his home in Celinac near Banja Luka, on April 2, 2014. Bojic, 71, an avid Volkswagen fan, created the car from over 50,000 separate pieces of oak and took two years to complete it.

Locke -- Bouy with multitasking.

for all you portlanders wondering why everyone not sporting a handlebar mustache is extra enthusiastic today, here is your two minute recap. nothing beats a buzzer beater to advance to the next round of the playoffs.

just noticed it was kentucky derby day. if you have absolutely no life and a love of horse racing you can watch the four hours of coverage on nbcsn prior to the three hours of coverage on nbc proper. somewhere in there is a two minute race by horses owned by saudi billionaires unlike the soccer i will be watching where the billionaire owners are from dubai. at least no ones whipping them on the field of play just those unfortunates out of frame building the stadiums. ok, thats in qatar for the world cup in 2022 but you dont care anyway so whats the difference.

Houston, we have a problem

to my surprise as i feel like my vision is worse after the four years since my last check up there was no change to my eyeglass prescription. but it turns out i have some dry eyes issues as my tear ducts are gunked up. i assured the optician it wasnt so much pollution that was the problem as a lack of empathy. i was sure this joke would lead to an instant rebate on my bill but i had to settle for a coupon for eye drops.

a reprint of a 1978 profile of martin mull.